Ominous Dark Energy

When theories are in trouble, scientists get creative. A great example of this is the current struggle with "dark energy". Today I was amused by an article in the Washington Post, "Mysterious 'Dark Energy' Not as Ominous as Thought".

Consider how the piece starts:

New observations offer evidence that astronomers are not simply imagining that there is a mysterious essence they call "dark energy" that is causing the universe to expand at an ever-accelerating pace.

After discussing some recent findings and a rather bizarre claim that dark energy is a "force that permeates empty space and ... has precisely the opposite effect of gravity", we find the most wonderful quote I have heard from an astrophysicist (read the article for his name):

"Even nothing, even empty space, weighs something [!!!!], and because in our universe we've got a lot of nothing, it has a major effect on our evolution and causes space itself to accelerate", said Prof. xyz, an astrophysicist at Princeton University.

I want whatever he is having for lunch.

Astutely, the author then states, "What remains unclear is what dark energy is, exactly"

Another prominent physicist gives us this cogent response:

We've discovered this incredible dark energy; we don't understand what the hell it is."

The article concludes that we should be reassured that what will not happen "apparently", is:

"... the cosmic apocalypyse that scientists call the big rip. That would occur if dark energy was strong enough to rend asunder all the stars, planets, moons, rocks, dust and even atomic nuclei, as well as any and all innocent bystanders."

I love physics and physicists. They are touched and it is wonderful.

[Still confused about "dark matter"]